Can you hear the funeral procession music in the background. To say that the sew your own wardrobe project for September was an unmitigated disaster is an understatement of epic proportions.
Can’t believe I’ve posted that picture on the internet. Shall we say that trousers are not my forte? There were many things that contributed to this epic fail so let me explain, in detail, why I am never making a pair of trousers again.
I just wanted to make myself a pair of well-fitting, comfortable trousers – basically a school uniform staple for grown-ups. I sit at a desk for 8+ hours, 5 days a week and there’s nothing I hate more than being uncomfortable. If I could get away with wearing sweats to work (and believe me, I’ve tried) then I totally would. If you read my intro post for this make then you will know that I had a hard time trying to find a suitable pattern to copy. Before gouging my eyes out after staring at ugly-unflattering pair after pair, I threw caution to the wind and decided to go the self-drafted route. I mean, how hard could it be? Answer: Bloody difficult.
I didn’t have any appropriate fabric to make a toile so I sought to plan things out to a T. This is where the problems started because I have absolutely no time for numbers and my attempts at accuracy are basically me saying “Oh that looks close enough.” I squirmed at the thought of ruining my perfect school-trouser fabric so I sat in a huff and brooded about these damn trousers for about a full week.
Then, something magical happened.
My beloved sewing magazine came with a FREE trouser pattern. The minute I seen it I knew it was the one I had been seemingly searching the Gobi desert for. Wide legs which taper into a neat waist with a zip closing… It was music to my ears! Without much more thought I printed off and cut the whole thing out and then sliced into my fabric with as much vigour as one can muster on a Wednesday night before Bake Off. Feeling pretty proud of myself I put my pieces to the side to be handled the next day and this is where everything headed swiftly downhill.
I DIDN’T HAVE A BLOODY BLACK ZIP.
Cue more tantrums than you can shake a toddler at (note: Please don’t shake a toddler). I finally settled down and decided to just do my usual – wing it. Wing it with all you’ve got, Amy! Throwing caution (and nearly my sewing machine) to the wind I haphazardly pieced everything together and things were starting to take shape. I then had a brilliant idea: Instead of a zip I would use elastic and fashion and elasticated waistband! Finally, a way to successfully achieve comfort in the workplace. Problem (sort-of) solved but during this whole process I had one overwhelming thought:
THIS FABRIC FRAYS LIKE A MOTHER.
In an effort to try and prevent any more fraying I grabbed the bull and my sewing machine by the horns and delved into the dusky underworld of finishing edges. I don’t own an overlocker so I turned to the similar stitch on my machine. This sort of worked but then when I tried the trousers on again the front crotch seam had become so pronounced that it was almost obscene!
I CAN’T WEAR THESE.
No amount of unpicking would save these ill-fated trousers so I swiftly put them in the bin and moped about for a few hours. So the moral of this story is make sure you have all your notions in order, people! Also don’t be a cocky gobsh*te thinking you can simply self-draft a pair of trousers when you’ve only been sewing clothes for 5 months. Nobody likes that guy. BOLD OUT.